So I’m back with Part Two. After going through what I think is the worst part, I can definitely say that there is light at the end of this Terrible Two tunnel. I mean I haven’t seen this light yet mysef, but I am optimistic.
So Terrible Two’s, it is still a challenge but as the months have gone passed, it has become more manageable and I put that down to the fact that the language barrier is breaking down slowly. Xion’s speech, communication skills and his understanding of things has increased since my last post on this subject (please see Terrible Two’s (Part 1) if you haven’t already), so talking him out of his temper tantrums or explaining things to him has a 75% success rate right now.
So here is the update…
Nope. Not anymore. I only do when he is actively looking for attention and I cannot actively attend to him. So I try and incorporate him in things I’m doing with his little sister so he doesn’t feel left out constantly.
Another reason why mummy guilt isn’t so prominent anymore is because the boy is a terror and is very aware of what he is doing. Although some days I can get extremely annoyed and frustrated by his madness, I do understand it’s just a phase and he’s not going to be this small for long, so sometimes I just let him live his best life.
The Broken Record
That will never leave. I still repeat 20 different statements 100 times a day. It’s tiring and highly annoying but I’ve just gotten used to it.
On this journey, I have also come to understand that repetitiveness is the only way a toddler can learn, this is because the next day is literally a brand new day to them, they have little to no recollection of the day before. So it may take 5 weeks of repeating “don’t go into the kitchen” or maybe even five months until he finally gets that he shouldnt go into the kitchen. And even then with his “I am my own boss” attitude regardless of his understanding he will still probably find himself in there.
And sometimes, with Xion, I can see that he is trying to understand what I am saying and actively trying to do what he thinks I’m tell him to do, but he just doesn’t understand. Bless his little soul.
To be honest, they are not as frequent as they were only when he’s really trying to get his own way. As I said earlier, the communication barrier has lowered so tackling a tantrum isnt a crazy task anymore. However, when he is ready nothing can stop him so I still avoid doing certain things with him around, like going to get my nails done or hair or any places where he will be in the pram for more than 20 minutes without much movement.
I remember that he used to come to the kitchen and literally scream all the way through the cooking process until the food was ready. This used to be break me down so much. One morning he came with him self and he took one breath and was ready for his nonsense with me again. I had had enough at this point, I mean who is the parent here? So I walked over to him and crouched down so we were eye to eye and I said “what you’re not going to do is scream at me today, or any other day. What you need to understand is that I am preparing your food. And that takes time. When it is done you will know and you will know because I will call you. Now sit down and do not disturb my peace.” I am very sure he didn’t understand a word I said but he definitely understood the energy. And he sat down and didn’t disturb my peace again. Which brings me to….
Xion pushes buttons, not entirely sure if it’s intentional but he likes to see how far he can get away with something. But he’s smart enough to not push buttons so far only far enough until the said person shows him that they’ve had enough. He’s a good boy really he’s just experimenting with his abilities. He’s also a very smart boy too and if I don’t keep an eye on him he could really hoodwink me so I need to keep sharp in my old age especially when he and his sister team up.
Over time, I’ve learnt that some cries are literally just attention and comfort. Lately he has gotten the hang of jumping and throwing things. This is definitely an attention tactic (the throwing things part especially) again he will throw and throw until he gets a reaction. Sometimes he is merely just excited and playing but other times he knows I don’t like it and does it on purpose. Not sure what that’s about but I’m considering ignoring it and seeing if it lessens up. This is going to be hard because people use their money and buy him toys and he’s out here throwing their presents around. This is why I ask people to buy him clothes but no one listens to me lol. Anyway that’s his activity for attention at the moment, I guess it’s just trial and error in how I deal with that for now.
I am the Big Brother
This is not so much terrible twos but during this developmental stage, Xion has had to adapt to his attention being shared and an unexpected visitor who came to stay. I mean Xion has very much become accustomed to having a sibling and being a big brother. He is so caring and is aware that he has more mobility than his sister so he will get her soother if she needs it however he does take advantage and he will take her bottle away and put it on the other side of the room. So this is where it starts the sibling wars and it’s only a matter of time before Jahzara is ready to get him back.
Part of me wants to laugh but the other part of me has to explain that this behaviour isn’t kind and he shouldn’t be doing that.
How am I coping with this?
Better, much better than when it had first started. I still do have to turn up the volume every now and again and I actually hate raising my voice at him but sometimes his energy takes over and he becomes really just out of control. However, it’s not as much as before which is great. When terrible twos first came in I was lost, confused and thrown into the twilight zone lol I didn’t expect it because I had already thought I was experiencing terrible twos but no no no that was just the warm up.
To close, My baby is a good boy at heart so full of life and red bull type energy. He is 100% into this development stage experimenting with right and wrong, independence and dependency, communicating, understanding what’s being Said to him, it’s beautiful to be honest as well as frustrating, annoying and deflating.
Over the past few months, watching Xion’s growth has been amazing he’s counting, can do his abcs, repeats words and sentences and speaking back to you in sentences some in which that I don’t understand but it’s his way of having a conversation with me. I am not sure if there will be a part 3 unless Xion has some more tricks up his sleeve but I will share some more tips and tricks in future.
Feel free to ask any questions, discuss anything further or even share your own experiences or pass me some advise, I am always here for advise. Anyway…
Thanks for reading…
Until next time…
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