Saints. I am not going lie to you, since February I have been going through it. I mean after the year I had last year all I could think was really Lord? Really Jesus? Like really really my guy? Is this what we’re doing? I know the Bible states that God won’t put you through anything you can’t bare but I thought maybe a small interval would’ve been nice.
In saying all of this, as time has passed, I am grateful because I have matured so much, I see a lot of things differently, people pleasing is no longer a trait that I associate myself with and I have obtained patience (which I am still working on lol). It is true in this life that you really need to be broken down in order for you to come back stronger and better. I did ask God to help mould me into the woman I am meant to be, so to think that he’s merely doing what I asked of him, I should really just ride the wave. But good grief the trials have been real.
Soooo let me give it to you real quick, 7 things I have learnt so far this year…..
1. Relationships are Hard
OK cool. This is a big massive understatement right? But I personally thought we had been through some tests and trials…………LOOOOOL! but to how things have been this year in comparison is completely off the charts!!!!. But as you have probably seen that with every negative I try to counteract it with a possible. So I have really learnt about giving and taking, compromising, boundaries, effective ways to communicate, understanding one another in great depth, working alone and working together, growing alone and growing together. It has indeed been a rollercoaster and a half this year but we’re pretty strong people so even though it felt like forever…we good.
2. Communication is Key
Again, another understatement. But I’ll explain what I learnt because personally I have no issue whatsoever with communication. I learnt from a very young age that in order for anything to get done, for anyone to know where they stand, for anyone to know how you feel, for anyone to know how you view things… (this list can really go on)… you reaaallllyyy NEED to communicate. This is black and white for me. Simply straightforward. What I have learnt and understood is that it’s not black and white for everyone. Only because in my eyes it’s an easy thing to do I have understood that there are people who actually find this difficult. To some people, communication is new, difficult or even unknown to them. This year I nearly lost a really close friend of mines due to a lack of communication. If this friend didn’t mean so much to me or if I didn’t know my friend so well to know that there was more to what they were saying, we wouldn’t be where we are today… Which is pretty good. Since this rough spell we communicate better than ever before and because we have first handedly seen what misunderstandings, lack of communication and neglect to our friendship can do… I’m sure in future we will definitely deal with each other much better and I am so happy about that.
3. Consistency is Key
I seem to be hitting you all with understatements. But here me out. So in regards to my personal ‘Snapback’ I have found it challenging. I think where the misconception is with the snap back is the fire before and after picture with the three month time frame attached to it so when your fupa is still swaying from right to left you start to question what is it that you are doing wrong!?
Since hopping on my self love journey and no longer comparing or referring myself to others I have found that that’s where most of my progress is starting to kick off.
So every other week I used to switch up my workout or I would do keto then I’d fast then I’d do both then I’d find some 8 week plan on instagram and do that for two weeks then find another one. But I found that giving my self weekly and monthly goals I am getting there slowly but surely. A few years I had lost 2-3 stone and it feels like it just dropped off within months but I have had to come to terms with the fact that my body doesn’t respond or work as quick as it used to. Hard pill to swallow but since understanding that I am seeing my small changes as time goes on and I am seeing a better body and I also like the idea of being more healthy and making it a lifestyle rather than a race or gateway to just looking good. And you know what they say “Consistency always leads to excellence” so even though I’m talking about my Snapback, this applies to everything in life, if you want something that bad you have to be consistent.
4. Some “friends” need to be cut off like split ends
Point. Blank. Period
Another phrase for split ends is dead ends, need I say more.
Now I’m soft on the people I love. This is a blessing and a curse. The reason I am like this is because I know how cold I am. And I really don’t want them to experience that because there isn’t much coming back from it. This year in particular, God has dropped in my lap that I am very much a people pleaser (to an extent) I’ll spite myself to make the other happy. Yyyeeeeaaaa dead that. So since embarking on this Self Love Journey and God being so helpful and dropping gems of “Dionne you need to fix up in this this this and this” I am starting to ask myself things like “Am I going to really tolerate this?” …. “Is this the treatment I deserve”…. “If the other way around would this person be ok to be treated this way”. And since I have been asking myself these questions, decisions in my life have been made a lot more quickly. And me? Nope. I’m not into spiting my own happiness for anyone else’s anymore and neither will I be having anyone talk to me any type of way. With that being said… number 5.
5. Stay in your own lane
It’s so hard at times to not compare or look at others and wonder what about me or when will I be able to….but since forgetting those people and focussing on my goals I no more announce or discuss my life and future plans. I just do. Life is so much more enjoyable that way and reaping the benefits seem more achieved. To be honest, although I’m open I don’t put my business out there for the world to see anyway. But my general business that I would usually discuss with friends or family, I no longer discuss. Instead I set goals with reasonable timeframes and do my thaaannng.
6. I have no patience
For those who know me. This is a real understatement. But this year in particular has shown me how much I need to change that. In order to be a better person in all aspects of my life and also to take on the whirlwinds and waves that life brings you, I need to have patience. This wave I’ve been riding for the passed few month has been an myth. But over time and a lot of humbling, I got my surfboard out and I’m good. Early days though, please please but sometimes you have to let time do it’s things if you want the best things in life.
7. I am everything and some more and some more and then some more
Since having Jahzara I’ve been so hard on myself, appearance wise, for so many reasons. I’ve spent a lot of this year tearing myself down. What have you done wrong? What do you need to do right? Ahhh this is why you’re like this? This is what’s happened because you you you. I’ve not been silent about my body confidence issues neither my anxiety. But I am glad to say that I’m in the best place mind body and soul. I appreciate it all of me and then some. I don’t want to say I think I’m the best thing since sliced bread. But honey *flicks braids* within my own right am I the best thing since sliced bread. A lot of people can’t do what I do and have gone through what I’ve gone through and still stand strong. Not to say I’m better than anyone else but saints it’s about time I start praising and congratulating my self for how far I’ve come because I’ve beaten up myself for too long.
So July is here and another six months of 2019 is left. I have a feeling that this year is only going to get better for me but you really never know. Either way I can go into the next part of the year a lot more mature, a lot more intuitive and understanding, a lot more patient and a lot more nicer to myself.
So there you have it several things I have learned this year so far.
Thank you for reading…
Until next time…
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